There are women who enter a room and wait for every eye to turn towards them.
Cassandre Delacroix does not wait.
She has the particular assurance of people who stopped wondering whether they belonged long ago. Beautiful, elegant and perfectly aware of the impression she makes, she seems to regard admiration as a natural consequence of her presence.
A Toreador, you will say.
That would be a little too easy.
Cassandre is also Prévôt of Paris, an office whose importance extends far beyond the drawing rooms where favours and reputations are negotiated. She commands La Rose de Suie, a coterie of Miliciens, five of whom I recently met.
They told me about their leader.
Some with respect. Others with an irony that would probably have called for a few explanations had she been there.
I heard one botanical comparison in particular whose subtlety I would rather let her judge for herself.
She did not attend our first group meeting. So I invited her to come alone, which has at least one advantage: her Miliciens will not be able to interrupt every answer she gives.
Cassandre Delacroix composes music, dreams of splendour and recognition, appreciates Versailles and seems to have a relationship with power that goes well beyond mere political ambition.
She wants to be admired.
She wants to leave her name in history.
She wants to belong among those who decide.
And yet, when asked which lie she tells herself most often, she replies:
One day, I will be free.
I think I have an interesting conversation on my hands.
“Cassandre Delacroix. Listen to how it sounds.”
Cassandre settles into her seat with an ease that makes it seem as though the armchair had been chosen for her. She briefly surveys the room, then looks at me with a calm smile.
Babyface Good evening, Cassandre. Or should I say Madame la Prévôt?
Cassandre You may. Though I must admit I do not find the title particularly elegant.
Babyface Really? It does carry a certain authority.
Cassandre Authority and elegance are not always synonymous qualities. Prévôt... Useful, certainly, but the word is desperately lacking in musicality.
Babyface What would you prefer to be called?
Cassandre Cassandre Delacroix. My full name.
She says it slowly, with entirely unabashed pleasure.
Cassandre Listen to how it sounds. Cassandre Delacroix. A pretty melody, wouldn't you say?
Babyface I admit it has a certain presence.
Cassandre A certain presence? You are sparing with your compliments, Babyface.
Babyface I prefer to hand them out judiciously. It makes them more valuable.
Cassandre An interesting policy. Personally, I do not believe admiration should be rationed.
Babyface And in private? Do you still want to hear your full name?
Cassandre Not necessarily. I like to be called mistress.
I look up from my notebook.
Babyface That leaves some room for interpretation.
Cassandre That is precisely what makes the word interesting.
Babyface And is there a name you never want to hear again?
Cassandre Certainly.
Babyface Which one?
Cassandre Surely you do not expect me to tell you. You might be tempted to use it.
Babyface You credit me with some very unkind intentions.
Cassandre I credit you with curiosity, above all. And you have already shown that you know how to use it.
I accept the compliment.
Babyface Three words to describe yourself?
Cassandre Beautiful. Intelligent. Prodigious.
Babyface In that order?
Cassandre You may rearrange them. They remain perfectly accurate.
Babyface So you do not suffer from a lack of confidence.
Cassandre Why should I pretend to be modest? I see no point in denying one's qualities when one possesses them.
Babyface You know, some people might take that for arrogance.
Cassandre Some people find it very difficult to recognise the worth of others.
Babyface Do you think you are underestimated?
Cassandre Constantly.
Babyface Even now that you are Prévôt?
Cassandre A title does not necessarily change how people look at you. Sometimes it simply gives them another reason to look at you askance.
Babyface And yet you like being looked at.
Cassandre Naturally. But I also like people to know what they are looking at.
“My Miliciens? They have their qualities.”
Babyface Since you mention how others see you, let us talk about La Rose de Suie. I recently met five of your Miliciens.
Cassandre My condolences.
I laugh.
Babyface I see you know your team.
Cassandre Well enough to know that an evening with them must be a memorable experience.
Babyface It was. They have rather contrasting personalities.
Cassandre That is an extremely delicate way of putting it.
Babyface Bogdan, in particular, has a very personal sense of humour.
Cassandre You noticed?
Babyface He gave you a nickname.
Cassandre I assume you could not resist coming to repeat it to me.
Babyface He compared you to a houseplant.
Cassandre looks at me for a few moments, then a smile appears.
Cassandre A houseplant?
Babyface He seems to think that belonging to Clan Toreador and your immaculate presentation contributed a great deal to your appointment.
Cassandre Bogdan has a remarkable talent for expressing his opinions with all the delicacy of a paving stone hurled through a shop window.
Babyface Does it hurt you?
Cassandre What bothers me is having my worth misjudged. As for the rest...
She gives a slight shrug.
Cassandre Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Babyface You seem much more indulgent than I would have imagined.
Cassandre Do not mistake indulgence for inattention.
This time, I am the one who smiles.
Babyface Which quality do you most admire in your companions?
Cassandre Their tenacity.
Babyface Not their loyalty?
Cassandre You asked what I admired, not what I expected of them. They can be difficult, stubborn, sometimes exasperating, but they keep going. They press on despite the obstacles.
Babyface Even when they challenge your decisions?
Cassandre They are individuals, not furniture.
Babyface And yet you value reason in others.
Cassandre Precisely. A well-argued objection is always worth more than mindless obedience.
Babyface So you do not demand that they always agree with you.
Cassandre I appreciate having the quality of my decisions recognised. That does not mean I forbid others from having an opinion.
Babyface And if your existence depended entirely on one member of La Rose de Suie?
Cassandre Flore.
Babyface Without hesitation?
Cassandre Without hesitation.
Babyface Why her?
Cassandre Because she listens. Because she thinks. And because she does not always settle for the first explanation she is given.
Babyface That is interesting. Of all your companions, you choose a Malkavian.
Cassandre And?
Babyface You have just told me that you value reason and that you do not readily forgive madness in yourself.
Cassandre Belonging to the clan of Malkav does not make someone incapable of reasoning. That would be a rather shallow conclusion.
Babyface You are right.
Cassandre I know.
Babyface I am beginning to understand why Bogdan enjoys provoking you so much.
Cassandre First he would have to discover an original way of doing it.
“I knew love before I knew eternity.”
Babyface Let us go back a little. Before your Embrace, what is your happiest memory?
Cassandre Love.
Babyface Someone in particular?
Cassandre True love. The kind you feel when you are human, fragile, disbelieving... perhaps even naive.
Babyface So you have been naive?
Cassandre Of course. One can be intelligent and naive. The two are not incompatible.
Babyface What did that love have that you no longer find today?
Cassandre That ability to believe without constantly having to weigh the consequences. When you are human, you can still imagine that certain things will last forever.
Babyface Whereas an immortal knows they do not necessarily last.
Cassandre At least she has more time to realise it.
Her answer has a studied lightness, but her smile is no longer quite the same.
Babyface If you could relive a single day of your mortal existence?
Cassandre My sixteenth spring.
Babyface Why that one?
Cassandre Because that is the one I would choose.
Babyface You will not tell me any more?
Cassandre You asked me for a day. You have it.
Babyface You are difficult to interview.
Cassandre I thought that was part of the pleasure of your profession.
Babyface It is. And what little thing from your old life do you miss most?
Cassandre Chocolate.
I cannot suppress a smile.
Babyface Chocolate?
Cassandre Yes, chocolate. Why the surprise?
Babyface With your taste for grandeur and splendour, perhaps I was expecting something more magnificent.
Cassandre There is nothing vulgar about appreciating something simple when it is delicious.
Babyface You regret no longer being able to savour it?
Cassandre Naturally.
Babyface And a scent that takes you straight back to your past?
Cassandre Lily of the valley.
Babyface Does it evoke a particular memory?
Cassandre Several, perhaps. Scents have a quality that images do not always possess. They can bring something back without asking your permission.
Babyface A kind of power over memory.
Cassandre You see? Even a little flower can wield considerable influence.
I think of Bogdan. I decide to keep that observation to myself.
Babyface And if you could say just one thing to the young Cassandre, before her Embrace?
Cassandre Enjoy yourself. Life and its illusions are so short.
She stops, then adds more softly:
Cassandre And kiss your mother more often.
There are answers you do not expect. This is one of them.
Babyface You would like to see her again?
Cassandre There are many things we can no longer recover. That is no reason to stop thinking about them.
Babyface Are you talking about your mother?
Cassandre Among other things.
I do not press her immediately.
Babyface There is someone else you would like to see again.
Cassandre Yes.
Babyface Who?
Cassandre Pompignan.
The name hangs between us.
Cassandre I miss him terribly.
Babyface Would you like to tell me about him?
Cassandre Not tonight.
Babyface I respect that.
She inclines her head slightly. For once, no witticism interrupts the conversation.
“Power, in all its forms.”
Babyface Your Embrace. Do you remember what you felt when you understood what you had become?
Cassandre Not my first thought. I no longer remember it.
Babyface But you do remember something.
Cassandre Yes. Being different. And above all, understanding that I would have to mourn my former life.
Babyface Even though your new existence offered you eternity?
Cassandre Eternity does not replace what you lose. It simply gives you more time to realise it.
Babyface And today, what do you like most about your condition?
Cassandre Power.
Babyface You do not need to think about it?
Cassandre In all its forms.
Babyface Political? Social? Financial?
Cassandre Artistic, too. Power is not limited to commanding someone or possessing a territory. A song can exert considerable influence. A name can open doors. A look can halt a conversation.
Babyface So you like having an effect on others.
Cassandre I like being able to act upon the world.
Babyface And what do you hate most about your existence?
Cassandre Being treated like a puppet.
Babyface A puppet?
Cassandre Having my person disposed of against my will. Having decisions made for me. Being made to play a part I did not choose.
Babyface And yet you hold an office that imposes obligations of its own.
Cassandre Every position has its constraints.
Babyface Where do you draw the line?
Cassandre Between accepting a responsibility and becoming someone's property.
Babyface Do you feel that line is sometimes crossed among the Kindred?
Cassandre You know the Camarilla, Babyface. You know perfectly well what the words favour, debt and loyalty can mean when they are used by those who already possess everything.
Babyface Are you speaking from experience?
Cassandre I am speaking of a reality that any reasonable person should understand.
She has just closed off the question with remarkable precision.
Babyface And the Beast? Are you afraid of losing control of it?
Cassandre That is not exactly what frightens me.
Babyface What frightens you, then?
Cassandre Not understanding what guides my steps.
Babyface Even if it is not the Beast?
Cassandre Especially if it is not the Beast.
Babyface So you would prefer an identified danger to an influence you cannot understand.
Cassandre How could one defend oneself against something whose very existence one knows nothing of?
Babyface Is your first hunting memory connected to that need for control?
Cassandre My first hunt?
A grimace crosses her face.
Cassandre It was dirty. Like eating without cutlery.
Babyface That is quite an original comparison.
Cassandre I see nothing noble in losing all elegance when one feeds.
Babyface So it was chiefly the indignity of the situation that stayed with you.
Cassandre Let us say that certain experiences would benefit from being better presented.
Babyface Is there a line you would absolutely refuse to cross, even to survive?
Cassandre I have no idea.
Babyface None?
Cassandre No. I will answer when the situation arises.
Babyface So you would rather not promise yourself a virtue you do not know whether you could uphold.
Cassandre I would rather avoid absurd commitments.
I notice that she never speaks of her survival as a possibility. For her, it almost seems a given that she will always find a solution.
“Have you heard Dans les bois profonds?”
Babyface We have talked enough about politics and Blood. Let us talk about music. Are you still composing?
Cassandre Naturally. Have you heard my latest song, Dans les bois profonds?
Babyface Not yet. Would you recommend it?
Cassandre Obviously.
Babyface Are you one of those artists who always find their latest work superior to the previous ones?
Cassandre I would find it rather regrettable to keep creating if I did not hope to improve.
Babyface So you could listen to your own compositions for a century?
Cassandre With great pleasure.
Babyface You really are your own most faithful admirer.
Cassandre One has to start somewhere.
Babyface And which work represents you best?
Cassandre L'Hymne à l'amour.
Babyface That is interesting. You seem to feel a certain nostalgia for human love, while aspiring to an existence dominated by power.
Cassandre Art does not require those who appreciate it to agree at all times with every feeling it expresses.
Babyface But this work represents you.
Cassandre It moves me. That is already a great deal.
Babyface What is your favourite place in Paris?
Cassandre Versailles.
I look at her for a few seconds.
Babyface You do know Versailles is not in Paris?
Cassandre I know perfectly well where Versailles is, Babyface.
Babyface I simply wanted to make sure.
Cassandre You asked me for my favourite place. Not to sit a geography exam.
Babyface I understand better now why you prefer your full name. You like things with grandeur.
Cassandre And Versailles has precisely that quality.
Babyface The architecture, the gardens, the history?
Cassandre All of it. It is a place designed to impress. There, you understand that power can also be staged.
Babyface And you like a sense of theatre.
Cassandre You are beginning to know me.
Babyface If you had an entire night without obligations, without dangers and without having to answer to anyone, what would you do?
Cassandre Perhaps I would let myself be tempted by karaoke.
I smile openly.
Babyface Karaoke?
Cassandre Why not?
Babyface I thought you might prefer a prestigious concert hall, with an orchestra and a select audience.
Cassandre One can appreciate grand venues and have fun somewhere much more modest.
Babyface So you could spend an evening singing with strangers?
Cassandre Certainly, provided they had enough taste to appreciate the performance.
Babyface And if someone sang better than you?
Cassandre You really are determined to imagine unpleasant situations.
I burst out laughing.
“Why should one have to die to prove something?”
Babyface Let us talk about your relationships with others. What do you expect of a friend?
Cassandre Loyalty, a willingness to listen and intelligence.
Babyface You do not ask for much.
Cassandre I simply ask for the essentials.
Babyface What betrayal would you be incapable of forgiving?
Cassandre Any of them.
Babyface Any? Even a minor betrayal, committed out of fear or under duress?
Cassandre A betrayal remains a betrayal.
Babyface And yet you distinguish coercion from consent when it comes to your own freedom.
Cassandre That does not prevent one from holding someone responsible for their actions.
Babyface You seem to have a rather demanding conception of loyalty.
Cassandre Trust loses much of its interest if it has to be renegotiated every time a situation becomes difficult.
Babyface Do you still believe in love?
Cassandre I am not certain we can really speak of love in our condition.
Babyface And yet you have just told me how deeply human love affected you.
Cassandre Precisely. We are no longer human. I believe more in attachment, in companionship.
Babyface Do you think eternity changes the nature of feelings?
Cassandre It necessarily changes the people who feel them.
Babyface And what sacrifice would you be prepared to make for someone you love?
Cassandre None.
I look up.
Babyface None?
Cassandre I do not like the notion of sacrifice.
Babyface And yet you ask for absolute loyalty from those around you.
Cassandre Loyalty should not require one to destroy oneself.
Babyface Some people nevertheless regard sacrifice as the greatest proof of love.
Cassandre That is a very romantic conception, but I do not see why one should have to disappear to show how much someone means to them.
Babyface You would rather stay alive for them?
Cassandre I would rather not have to choose between two disappearances.
Babyface And if you had to risk your Final Death for a great cause?
Cassandre Really, what sort of question is that?
She looks at me with entirely sincere incredulity.
Cassandre Are you all right, Babyface? Do you really think about that sort of thing?
Babyface It is a possibility that sometimes crosses the minds of the Kindred.
Cassandre Perhaps one should avoid giving it so much importance.
Babyface So you cannot imagine any cause worth your destruction?
Cassandre No.
Babyface You are probably one of my first guests to answer so frankly.
Cassandre I mainly find it worrying that so many people seem eager to contemplate their own end.
“I do not want to be loved. I want to be admired.”
Babyface Since you do not contemplate dying, let us talk about the future. What does power mean to you?
Cassandre An objective.
Babyface A permanent objective?
Cassandre It is always pleasant to rise through the ranks. Rather like climbing the steps at Cannes.
Babyface With photographers waiting for you at the top?
Cassandre Naturally. What would be the point of climbing a magnificent staircase if no one were there to appreciate your ascent?
Babyface You seem to attach a great deal of importance to how others see you.
Cassandre To admiration. That is not quite the same thing.
Babyface So would you prefer to be loved, respected or feared?
Cassandre Admired.
Babyface You reject all three answers offered.
Cassandre They did not suit me.
Babyface Why admiration?
Cassandre Because it recognises an exceptional quality. One can be loved out of habit, respected out of obligation or feared out of necessity. Admiration implies that something sets you apart from others.
Babyface And you want to be that exception.
Cassandre Why not?
Babyface Your greatest ambition?
Cassandre For my name to become synonymous with splendour and sensuality.
Babyface So you want to leave a mark.
Cassandre A mark that withstands time. A melody people recognise long after they have forgotten the circumstances in which they heard it.
Babyface And in a hundred years?
Cassandre The Great Work.
Babyface Could you be more specific?
Cassandre Why should one explain an ambition before accomplishing it?
Babyface Because you are being interviewed.
Cassandre And you are an excellent journalist. I am certain you will know how to be patient.
Babyface So you are keeping it mysterious.
Cassandre I am simply preserving the pleasure of the revelation.
I could insist. But I doubt I would get more than a smile.
Babyface If you could change just one thing about Kindred society?
Cassandre We have become far too lax with the younger generations.
Babyface Do you feel they no longer respect the customs enough?
Cassandre They sometimes seem to think that everything is owed to them. Yet at the same time, there are more and more rules. It is rather paradoxical.
Babyface So you want higher standards and less regulation?
Cassandre Rules are no substitute for education or judgement.
Babyface Do you see yourself as a representative of the old tradition?
Cassandre I mainly see myself as someone who appreciates things being done properly.
Babyface And your greatest happiness?
Cassandre Being among the powerful.
Babyface Not simply being famous?
Cassandre Fame is pleasant. But it does not guarantee that people will listen to you when a decision has to be made.
Babyface So you want both to be admired and to influence events.
Cassandre Exactly. You see, we understand each other.
“The Olympia.”
Babyface You have spoken about Cannes, your music and your ambition to leave a body of work. I imagine there are still stages you dream of.
Cassandre Obviously.
Babyface Your greatest regret?
Cassandre Never being able to play the Olympia.
I am surprised by the simplicity of her answer.
Babyface The Olympia?
Cassandre Yes.
Babyface And yet you have eternity ahead of you.
Cassandre Which does not mean everything is possible.
Babyface Do you have reasons to think that stage will remain beyond your reach?
Cassandre I have my reasons.
Babyface You do not want to explain them to me?
Cassandre No more than I want to explain my Great Work to you.
Babyface You really have a talent for giving answers that prompt three new questions.
Cassandre That is probably what makes me an interesting guest.
Babyface You are not short of confidence.
Cassandre We have already established that.
Babyface Your hero or heroine?
Cassandre Jesus.
I let a second pass.
Babyface That is an unexpected choice.
Cassandre Really? Look at what he accomplished. An entire religion grew around his name. Centuries later, billions of people still know it.
Babyface So you admire his religious influence?
Cassandre I am fascinated by how a name can cross generations and continue to inspire devotion.
Babyface Would you like your own name to inspire the same enthusiasm one day?
Cassandre I hope to do as well.
Babyface So you aspire to become an object of worship?
Cassandre Why settle for being applauded when one can be venerated?
I do not know whether she is joking.
The most unsettling thing is that she seems perfectly happy to leave me in doubt.
Babyface You know there is a difference between artistic admiration and devotion?
Cassandre Of course. But one does not necessarily exclude the other.
Babyface And your enemies? Such ambition must surely attract a few.
Cassandre I have no enemies.
Babyface None?
Cassandre I think everyone likes me. It could not be otherwise.
Babyface You are Prévôt of Paris, Cassandre.
Cassandre I know perfectly well what my office is.
Babyface You must have upset someone.
Cassandre Upsetting someone does not necessarily mean making an enemy of them.
Babyface And if someone hated you without your knowing it?
Cassandre What an unpleasant question.
Babyface It is my profession.
Cassandre I had noticed.
“I like Bogdan. Do not tell him.”
Babyface We are coming to the most personal questions. What truth about yourself do you hope no one ever discovers?
Cassandre I like Bogdan.
I almost laugh.
Babyface I beg your pardon?
Cassandre You heard me perfectly well.
Babyface Bogdan? Our charming Nosferatu who compares you to a houseplant?
Cassandre The very same.
Babyface You will have to explain.
Cassandre I appreciate his consistency. With him, at least, you know where you stand.
Babyface So you find his vulgarity reassuring?
Cassandre I did not say that. I said he was consistent. He does not necessarily try to make you believe he possesses qualities he has no desire to show.
Babyface And yet he willingly plays the fool.
Cassandre That does not mean he is one.
Babyface Do you think he is more intelligent than he looks?
Cassandre I mainly think it would be dangerous to confuse his behaviour with his abilities.
Babyface So you have a better opinion of him than he imagines.
Cassandre I have no idea. I do not spend my time asking him what he thinks of my opinion.
Babyface Why would you want to hide that appreciation?
Cassandre Because he would be absolutely unbearable if I told him.
This time, we both laugh.
Babyface You do know I have recorded our conversation?
Cassandre Naturally, I am counting on your discretion.
Babyface You put me in a delicate position.
Cassandre I am certain you will find a way out of it.
I am beginning to suspect that she enjoys this exercise as much as I do.
“One day, I will be free.”
Babyface I would like to return to something you told me at the beginning of our interview.
Cassandre I am listening.
Babyface You hate having your person disposed of against your will. You fear not knowing what guides your steps. And you aspire to rise ever higher in the hierarchy of the powerful.
Cassandre Those are perfectly consistent objectives.
Babyface Do you think power will bring you freedom?
Cassandre At least it provides the means.
Babyface And yet you admit to regularly telling yourself a lie.
Cassandre Everyone tells themselves stories, Babyface.
Babyface What is yours?
She looks at me without answering immediately.
Cassandre One day, I will be free.
The words are spoken without emphasis.
Babyface Why would that be a lie?
Cassandre Because it is possible we are never truly free.
Babyface Even those who rule?
Cassandre Especially those who rule, perhaps. Every position has its obligations, its dependencies, its commitments. The higher you rise, the greater the consequences of your decisions become.
Babyface And despite that, you want to keep rising through the ranks.
Cassandre Obviously.
Babyface So you are seeking something you doubt can exist.
Cassandre An ideal seeming unattainable is no reason to stop pursuing it.
Babyface And if you reached the top?
Cassandre I suppose I would discover there was still something above it.
Babyface That sounds like a sentence.
Cassandre You are very pessimistic.
Babyface I am simply asking questions.
Cassandre And I am answering them.
Babyface You told me you readily forgive madness in others, but never in yourself.
Cassandre Yes.
Babyface And yet pursuing a freedom one is convinced does not exist might seem unreasonable.
Cassandre You are confusing doubt with certainty. I did not say freedom was impossible. I said that perhaps I was telling myself a story by believing I could attain it.
Babyface That makes an important distinction.
Cassandre Distinctions are essential. Especially in your profession.
She has just corrected me very gently.
I am beginning to understand why she attaches so much importance to reason.
“I am not the sort to have secrets.”
Babyface Have you ever done something monstrous while convinced you were acting for the good?
Cassandre Obviously not.
Babyface You seem absolutely certain of your answer.
Cassandre I do not see why I should need to hesitate.
Babyface And if someone considered certain decisions of yours monstrous?
Cassandre People have very different opinions about what is acceptable. That does not mean those opinions are all reasonable.
Babyface So you would prefer to judge your actions by your own standards.
Cassandre Like everyone else. Some simply find it harder to admit.
Babyface If you could become human again, mortal and vulnerable, would you accept?
Cassandre No.
Babyface And yet you have spoken to me with great nostalgia about human love.
Cassandre There is no need to want a condition back in order to regret some of the things it made possible.
Babyface So you would prefer to retain power rather than regain innocence?
Cassandre Why would I want to become vulnerable again and at everyone's mercy? It would be stupid.
Babyface You have no doubts?
Cassandre None.
Babyface And your idea of an ideal death?
Cassandre I do not contemplate dying.
Babyface Ever?
Cassandre Before, I would probably have answered: in my sleep. But it has been a long time since I slept that way.
Babyface You really do not like thinking about your own disappearance.
Cassandre I do not understand why you insist on the subject so much.
Babyface Because it is sometimes easier to understand what matters to someone by asking what they would be willing to lose.
Cassandre In that case, you should have known long ago that I do not like losing.
The last word
Babyface I always end my interviews by asking my guests what words they would wish to leave behind if tomorrow were to be their last night.
Cassandre Death again?
Babyface Only as a hypothesis.
Cassandre You really do have very peculiar tastes.
Babyface Possibly. But I would still like to hear your answer.
Cassandre thinks for a moment. Then she straightens slightly.
Cassandre Since you insist, I may as well not disappear on an insignificant turn of phrase.
She takes her time pronouncing each sentence.
Cassandre “If the world must go dark tonight, let me once more behold men praying to receive my love.
If my heart no longer beats, it is still my name that resonates within them, like a last melody in an abandoned cathedral.
Do not weep for my absence, my love, for I will be in the velvet of the nights, in the rose that fades without losing its scent, in every note the wind tears from the silence.
And if the gods grant me one last favour, before the darkness carries me away, let it be that among all the things you have desired, conquered or lost, I was the only one you never wished to possess, but whom you would have chosen, in every life, until the last night.”
I remain silent for a few seconds.
Babyface Had you prepared that answer?
Cassandre Why? Do you not like it?
Babyface On the contrary. I simply think you have just given me a rather lovely definition of what you wish to leave behind.
Cassandre I am listening.
Babyface You do not merely want to be remembered. You want your absence to remain a presence.
Cassandre That is an interesting way of putting it.
Babyface You want to become something others could not rid themselves of, even if you were no longer there.
Cassandre You have a rather dark way of interpreting things.
Babyface It comes with the profession, once again.
Cassandre In that case, perhaps we should collaborate more often.
The last question
I look at my notebook.
Cassandre has spoken to me of power, beauty, admiration and glory. She has mentioned her childhood, her mother, human love and memories whose details she does not wish to reveal in full.
She has also confided her desire to be free, while admitting she is not certain she will ever be able to be.
The contradiction does not seem to trouble her.
I decide to ask her my last question.
Babyface What was the question you secretly hoped I would not ask?
Cassandre I have no idea.
Babyface Really?
Cassandre I am not the sort to have things to hide.
I slowly look up.
Babyface And yet you refused to give me the name you no longer wish to hear.
Cassandre There is a difference between hiding something and choosing what one wishes to tell.
Babyface You also refused to explain your sixteenth spring to me.
Cassandre Because you did not ask me to tell you about my entire adolescence.
Babyface Your relationship with Pompignan.
Cassandre That concerns my private life.
Babyface Your Great Work.
Cassandre That concerns my ambitions.
Babyface And what you appreciate about Bogdan.
Cassandre lets out a sigh.
Cassandre That is why I am wary of journalists.
Babyface You see? You have many things you do not wish to tell.
Cassandre They are things I choose to keep to myself. That is not exactly the same thing.
Babyface You are right. But that brings me to another question.
Cassandre I thought that was the last one.
Babyface This time, truly.
I close my notebook.
Babyface You have explained that you want to be admired, that you wish to become a figure of splendour and leave your name in history.
You seem capable of obtaining a great deal from others.
But if, tomorrow, there were no one left to admire you, no title, no office and no gaze to remind you of your importance...
Who would Cassandre Delacroix be?
She watches me for a few seconds.
Cassandre Still Cassandre Delacroix.
Babyface With the same ambitions?
Cassandre Perhaps not the same ones. But certainly with ambitions.
Babyface And would you be happy?
Cassandre That would depend on what I had kept.
Babyface Your freedom, perhaps?
Her smile fades a little.
Cassandre You always come back to that question.
Babyface Because so do you.
A silence settles.
Cassandre You know, Babyface, people talk a great deal about freedom when they do not have the means to defend their own.
Babyface And when they do?
Cassandre They discover they must still hold on to those means.
Babyface Does that worry you?
Cassandre It occupies me.
That answer seems to suit her perfectly.
Babyface I think we will stop there. Thank you, Cassandre.
Cassandre The pleasure was all mine.
Babyface Do you really mean that?
Cassandre Naturally. It is always pleasant to meet someone who knows how to appreciate a conversation with me.
She rises.
Babyface One last thing. If I wish to see you for another interview, should I ask for Madame la Prévôt, Cassandre Delacroix or mistress?
She looks at me with an amused smile.
Cassandre That will depend on the nature of our next meeting.
Then she walks away.
I realise I have just spent an entire evening trying to understand a woman who claims to have nothing to hide, yet never stopped carefully choosing what she wanted to show me.
I find that rather admirable.
And slightly irritating.
End of the interview.
Babyface's view
I had heard a great deal about Cassandre Delacroix before meeting her.
An ambitious Toreador. An elegant woman. A Prévôt whose Miliciens sometimes seem to think her chief quality lies in her ability to represent their coterie properly before the Court.
I discovered a woman who deeply enjoys being looked at.
But I think that is not quite the same thing.
Cassandre does not simply seek to be beautiful. She wants to be remarkable. She does not merely wish to wield power. She wants her name to become a reference, a promise of splendour, something that continues to inspire admiration long after she has passed through.
She has the assurance of those who know they can make an impression on others.
And she seems to take perfectly sincere pleasure in it.
I could find her insufferably vain.
That would probably be fair enough.
But above all, it would be insufficient.
For Cassandre attaches particular importance to reason, intelligence and the ability to understand what is really happening around her. She claims her greatest talent lies in her powers of deduction and her paranoia.
I find that combination very revealing.
Deduction allows us to understand what we observe.
Paranoia drives us to look for what we do not yet observe.
Together, they can produce remarkable vigilance.
Or an exhausting existence.
I am not certain Cassandre always distinguishes between the two.
She explained to me that what frightened her most was not the Beast itself, but the idea of not knowing what guides her steps.
That is a fear I understand.
In our society, we like to believe our will belongs to us. Yet debts, commitments, Disciplines and old loyalties can sometimes alter our decisions before we are even aware of having made one.
Cassandre is clearly familiar with that reality.
And she hates it.
Her ambition for power might then seem perfectly logical: the more powerful she becomes, the less reason she will have to fear the wills of others.
But there is a trap in that reasoning.
Every new position brings its share of obligations. Every favour received creates a potential debt. Every title imposes responsibilities that end up reducing the freedom of the person who bears it.
Cassandre knows this.
She even confided that the lie she tells herself most often is believing she will one day be free.
I do not know what to make of that admission.
Is it regret for a lost freedom? The fear of never attaining true independence? Or simply the lucidity of a woman who knows the mechanisms of power too well to be entirely seduced by them?
She gave me no definitive answer.
I am not certain she has one.
I also discovered in her a nostalgia that her assurance does not immediately reveal.
She misses chocolate, the scent of lily of the valley, the innocence of her sixteenth spring and that human love she describes as fragile, disbelieving and profoundly true.
When she mentions her mother, her voice changes.
When she speaks Pompignan's name, she no longer tries to create any particular effect.
She simply says she misses him.
I did not want to press her.
There are names behind which lie stories that cannot be summed up in a few questions. And, for once, Cassandre did not seem eager to make me appreciate her gift for conversation.
She simply wanted the name to be spoken.
I find that important.
She says she is no longer certain love can truly exist among vampires. She prefers the words attachment and companionship. She also rejects the notion of sacrifice, which she considers needlessly destructive.
And yet she retains an evident sensitivity towards memories of love from her mortal life.
I do not believe she is incapable of loving.
I wonder instead whether she is still willing to give that name to what she can feel.
There is a difference.
Her relationship with La Rose de Suie also deserves attention.
Her Miliciens are far from a docile team. They contradict and provoke one another, defend sometimes incompatible principles and do not always seem to grasp the implications of their own statements.
Cassandre does not appear surprised by this.
She admires their tenacity.
That is an interesting answer from a leader. She does not ask them to be agreeable. She recognises their ability to keep going despite obstacles.
I was particularly surprised when she confided that she would place her trust in Flore.
In our society, it is tempting to confuse authority with force, power with domination. Cassandre also seems to appreciate a person's ability to listen, to think and to question explanations that are too simple.
As for Bogdan...
I will remember that confidence with some amusement.
The Prévôt appreciates the consistency of the Nosferatu who enjoys comparing her to a houseplant.
I do not know which of them would be more annoyed to learn that the other does not despise them as much as they let on.
I suspect, however, that such a revelation could lead to an absolutely dreadful evening.
So I shall refrain from trying the experiment.
Finally, Cassandre has an ambition that particularly fascinates me.
She wants to be admired.
Not loved. Not simply respected.
Admired.
She dreams of her name being associated with splendour and sensuality. She composes music, hopes to accomplish her Great Work and speaks, with a seriousness that is difficult to gauge, of the idea that one day her name might inspire devotion comparable to that of great religious figures.
I could find that excessive.
But I remember that we belong to a society in which certain individuals have accumulated so many centuries of existence that they end up unable to distinguish their personal history from that of the cities they govern.
So perhaps Cassandre is not as extravagant as she seems.
She is simply more frank than others about what she wishes to become.
One thing did trouble me, however.
She wants to be admired, but refuses to be possessed.
She wants to inspire attachment, but rejects sacrifice.
She wants to attain power, but doubts that power can bring her freedom.
And when I ask what will remain of her when she can no longer be contemplated, applauded or recognised, she answers that she will still be Cassandre Delacroix.
I would like to believe her.
I even think she needs to believe it.
For there is a difference between possessing an identity and possessing the image others have of us.
The first belongs to us, or so we hope.
The second escapes us the moment someone sets eyes on us.
Cassandre seems to want to master both.
I wonder whether that is where her real difficulty lies.
I liked her answer about the Olympia. It reminded me that even immortals have dreams that seem beyond their reach. It is sometimes easier to imagine conquering a political position than fulfilling a deeply personal ambition.
I do not know why she thinks she will never be able to perform on that stage.
But I noticed that the prospect seemed to cause her more regret than many of the Court's complications.
Perhaps, behind the Prévôt, there is still an artist who simply wants people to listen to her music.
Not out of obligation.
Not to obtain a favour.
Simply because it would be beautiful.
Finally, I am left with those words, slipped into the middle of our conversation:
One day, I will be free.
Cassandre presented them as a lie.
I would rather see an ambition in them.
After all, she already possesses a remarkable number of talents, an important office and a self-confidence few of her kind could display without blushing.
Perhaps she lacks only one thing.
Discovering whether the freedom she pursues really lies at the top of the staircase.
Or whether it exists elsewhere, in a place where no one would think to ask her to prove her worth.
I am not certain she would appreciate that last hypothesis.
She enjoys climbing the steps far too much.
And one thing must be acknowledged.
She does it with remarkable elegance.
Babyface
The Midnight Confessions, Paris la Nuit.